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the weed i was buying wasn’t doing anything so now I’m taking a tolerance break. I would like to get stoned, but now is the time for restraint.
my legs hurt. i was doing yoga this morning and couldn’t get this one move to happen and kept falling down. my legs too weak to hold myself up right, i’m paying the consequences of the countless forced attempts.
i miss the world. this global trauma is getting to me and i just want to go out and give everyone in the world a huge hug. oh, to break bread with my neighbors and friends. oh, to go out and dance all night long, laughing in the throws of group inebriation. i miss it.
thank god i don’t live alone. I used to desire to live alone, to be with myself and my thoughts, but now i am so thankful that i am able to live with people i care about and that care about me.
this thing feels eternal, which is probably what they want. drain our hopes and spirits in order to incapacitate our senses and lower our expectations for what our world should be. i will not stand for it. i will do what is best for my friends and community, but i refuse to sit silently and watch as nothing changes and more people die.
the spirit is eternal
as is the feeling of this crisis
a seemingly never ending circle of nothing being done right